Donald Trump Finally Reveals Favorite Bible Passage That He Made Up

Donald Trump, decomposing ear of corn and Republican presidential frontrunner, has been all over town, telling anyone who will listen that his favorite book is the Bible, followed very closely by The Art of the Deal.

This “fun fact” about the Donald is clearly a ploy to win over Christian conservatives, since the Bible is not very exciting, fairly dense, and also terribly written. I would like to recommend that Trump look into The Hunger Games trilogy, as they are fun, quick reads and he will undoubtedly relate to many of the characters.

Anyway, in early August, Trump was asked what his favorite Bible verse was since he loves it so fucking much.

“I wouldn’t want to get into it because to me that’s very personal,” he said in an interview with Bloomberg TV. “The Bible means a lot to me but I don’t want to get into specifics.”

However, in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network’s The Brody File, Trump finally revealed his favorite passage from the most easily accessible book on the planet. He said:

“There’s so many things that you can learn from [the Bible]. Proverbs, the chapter ‘never bend to envy.’ I’ve had that thing all of my life where people are bending to envy…

The more you see [the Bible], the more you read it, the more incredible it is. I don’t like to use this analogy, but it’s like a great movie, a great, incredible movie. You’ll see it once, it will be good. You’ll see it again. You can see it 20 times and every time you’ll appreciate it more. The Bible is the most special thing.

The thing is that that “never bend to envy” chapter is seemingly made up.

In the article initially posting the clip, the CBN writes that they aren’t sure to what Trump is referring, but when the Washington Post asked what he meant, CBN reporter David Brody says Trump was referring to Proverbs 24:1-2: “Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them. For their heart studieth destruction, and their lips talk of mischief.”

This is hard to believe because it doesn’t have the words “never,” “bend,” or “envy” in it.