Don Jr. Has a Fake Magnet Beard Now 


Here is Don Jr. in an appearance on The Ingraham Angle (okay!), saying some words about Covington Catholic High School and that now-contested Buzzfeed story that I never want to think about again. No matter: I can’t hear a word he is saying because I am distracted by the approximately 478 hairs that have collected on his chin and neck region. What am I looking at here, and why?

The look is very Wooly Willy, that bald-faced child’s toy with the magnets and the metal filings. Why have a magnet beard? Maybe Don Jr. is sad that he has no chin and would like to craft the appearance of such via a beard so tight and precise in its borders that I would not be surprised if it were Sharpie’d on.

And yet it is real. I wish it ill. Goodbye.

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