The Disney Princesses are getting a makeover. This, with the news that Dora The Explorer will come in a shopping-obsessed tween version and that horrifying Strawberry Shortcake revamp is upsetting. Hey, toymakers: Quit it.
Sure, change is good: Except when it comes to items for which you have a sentimental nostalgia. I refuse to acknowledge the new electronic banking edition of Monopoly, which comes without paper money and includes a cell phone and a flat-screen TV as game pieces. Give me a dog or a wheelbarrow, or else it's not really Monopoly! Candy Land used to have a Molasses Swamp, but kids today don't know what molasses is (and can't use a dictionary?) so it's now the Chocolate Swamp. Don't even get me started on Candy Land: The Movie.
Why are these toy changes so irksome? Is it because we think of precious, happy memories from childhood as sacred and holy? Is it because — in the case of the dolls — you're taking something perfect and plastic finding fault with it? Is it because the changes are (usually) for the worse? Is it because saying, "when i was a kid, My Little Pony had four flat feet, not poseable legs and an ice cream truck" makes you feel old?