Do Teens Really Have Abortion Slang?

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Hey, girlfriend! Did you know that teens now have a totally phat new word for getting an abortion? According to About.com the proper term is "hoovering," and kids today think it's the cat's pajamas!

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FunnyOrDie.com spotted this entry in About.com's "Teen Slang Dictionary":

Illustration for article titled Do Teens Really Have Abortion Slang?
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Uh, what? We hate to question About.com's accuracy, particularly since they've finally filled us in on the meaning of "hello." However, maybe we should investigate this claim before some anti-choice group latches onto this as evidence that teen girls are now flippant about the extremely difficult decision to terminate a pregnancy.

Here's Urban Dictionary's top definition for "Hoovering":

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Perhaps the sensitive soul who concocted the sentence "Last night, Blake was hoovering me all night!" didn't want to bring up such a delicate topic, but the third definition does list its meaning as,

Illustration for article titled Do Teens Really Have Abortion Slang?
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This has been voted down in the past six years, but was it ever really popular? A Google search of the words "hoovering" and "abortion" turns up references to J. Edgar Hoover and Marilyn Monroe's "Abortion Agony," a conservative commenter who claims political strategist Margaret Hoover is "pro-abortion and pro gay marriage," and an article in which Maureen McCormick (better known as Marcia Brady) says, "They would call me 'The Hoover' because of how much cocaine I would do."

Based on this extensive research, we're prepared to say that "hoovering" is not a tremendously popular term among teenagers. We know you were just trying to help parents understand what their kids are talking about, since,

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Illustration for article titled Do Teens Really Have Abortion Slang?



But allow us to "communitcate" in terms you'd understand: Word up, About.com. This may seem like a no brainer, but we've got to keep it real. You probably think your dictionary is all that and a bag of chips, but flash — we think the person who wrote this must have been tripping.

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A Teen Slang Dictionary [About.com via FunnyOrDie.com]
Hoovering [Urban Dictionary]
Hoovering AND Abortion [Google]

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DISCUSSION

Steve_Buscemi's_Orthodontist

"Billy Mays here!

Are you tired of trying to get embarrassing stains out of your uterus? Unsightly fetus clogging it up?

Well thanks to my new FetusClean®, those unsightly vaginal disasters are a thing over the past.

Just sprinkle a little bit of my FetusClean® on the blemish, wait a few minutes for the powerful formula to soak in, and hoover it right up!

You never have to worry about unseemly accidents again thanks to FetusClean®."

... I'm pretty sure that's not how the conversation goes before or after, but hey - what do I know?