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Dina Lohan and Her Internet Boyfriend Broke Up

Illustration for article titled Dina Lohan and Her Internet Boyfriend Broke Up
Image: Getty

Turns out Dina Lohan wasn’t being catfished, but it looks like she still may never meet face-to-face with the internet guy she was dating for half a decade.

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On season two of Celebrity Big Brother, Lohan revealed that she’d been dating a person she’d never met for five frickin’ years! After telling her housemates that she’d met her beau on Facebook but had never actually seen him in real life because he lived in San Francisco taking care of his elderly mother and didn’t use FaceTime, Kandi Buress and Tamar Braxton very sensibly told her to get a grip. But Lohan insisted she was going to marry the dude.

However, this was the rare instance of Kandi Buress and Tamar Braxton being wrong, as the suspected catfish, Jesse Nadler, turned out to be an actual human man. However, just because he’s real doesn’t make him a gentleman. Nadler recently spilled the secrets of his breakup with Lohan to The Blast:

Jesse Nadler tells The Blast he broke things off with Lohan after she went off on him over a Facebook photo he posted of a friend’s book. She thought it was a book about a woman (he says it wasn’t) and she got upset.

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He broke up with her over the phone a week before she was set to fly to Tiburon, California for their first in-person meeting, during which Nadler says he was planning to propose. Getting broken up with always sucks, and over the phone is especially cold. But spilling relationship tea to The Blast just seems mean. People, okay. Us Weekly fine. But any lower than that and it’s like you never cared at all. 

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DISCUSSION

I cannot judge. Love does strange things.

A therapist once told me that infatuation can be nearly akin to state of psychosis, and I believe it. There are so many ways in which never meeting one’s beau (or belle) might be an optimum state in which to exist.

All of that infatuation energy coursing through one; the inspiration and motivation that arrives with it. When I am in love, my apartment shines, I seem to effortlessly reach an ideal weight; my yoga practise ramps up to eleven; and nothing seems impossible; nothing seems foreign; nothing seems unattainable.

Except, in the worst case scenarios, reciprocity.

And then the crash.

And the crash isn’t pretty.

Honestly wishing anyone in that state, love and luck; losing that hit of beautiful, beautiful delusion is a hard place to be. Keep breathing.

Which brings us to the best song of all time & anywhere: