Didn't Go to Greece Over Winter Break? Instasham It

There’s a new service in town that lets you prove via social media that you live an amazing life (that’s not your actual life). Isn’t that the goal of social media? To make everyone jealous?

Enter Instasham — a service that provides photos of bomb vacations, sexy friends, and fancy clothes. You can be all, “Cruising in Rio in my Tesla roadster/yacht wearing seven La Perla Bras and a gucci belt as a top!” and everyone will be all, “Oooooh she’s so rich and cool, I wish I wasn’t eating this $1 meal deal from Wendy’s I guess I’ll go kill myself.” Mission accomplished!

It’s kinda stupid that all the photos of cool friends are actually just half-naked ladies being half-naked. And also, Kanye West. Where are all the suntanning bros to gawk at? That’s what Feminism is about, GOD.

Personally, I think they’ve got it all wrong — if I were to create an Instasham it would just be delicious vegan food, and my cute-ass nieces, and my cute-ass nieces with my cute-ass dogs. Let’s be real here, that’s what the people want.