Did Horniness Drive Christopher Steele to Gift the Family Tartan to Ivanka Trump? [UPDATED]

Christopher Steele, former British intelligence agent and author of the controversial intelligence report alleging a conspiracy between President Trump and the Russian government leading up to the 2016 presidential election, knew Ivanka Trump for years prior to penning his “Steele dossier.” ABC News reports that Trump met Steele at a dinner in London in 2007; he was still working for MI6 while she was already in the family business and kind of sort of dating now-husband Jared Kushner. The two corresponded for years via email and even met at Trump Tower.

These details were revealed after the Department of Justice’s inspector general released a report Monday about the FBI’s Russia inquiry, concluding that political bias was not a factor in their investigation of Trump and Russia. The report also concluded that they did not use the Steele dossier as a launchpad into the Russia probe, claiming not to have even seen the dossier until after they already began their investigation.

And Steele bristles at the notion that his dossier—which infamously birthed the “pee tape” —would demonstrate political bias either. He told the FBI that, if anything, he was biased toward Trump due to his friendship with a Trump “family member,” who we now know to be Ivanka.

From page 94 of the report (emphasis ours):

Steele called the allegation that he was biased against Trump from the start “ridiculous.” He stated that if anything he was “favorably disposed” toward the Trump family before he began his research because he had visited a Trump family member at Trump Tower and “been friendly” with [the family member] for some years. He described their relationship as “personal” and said that he once gifted a family tartan from Scotland to the family member.

But let’s back up a minute here: A family tartan? According to some light research and British friends, Tartans tend to hold some sentimental significance, usually gifted to family members for important birthdays, graduations, and ceremonies like weddings. Perhaps in the ye olde tartan days, giving someone a tartan would perhaps be a formal indicator that someone wanted to ye olde fuck (or, you know, wed). So what’s up with Steele giving Ivanka Trump a family tartan?

Maybe he just really wanted to get on her good side on the business front: the two discussed working together, but never got around to it. Or perhaps Steele is just very passionate about his Scottish heritage and gives his family tartan to all of his friends and acquaintances.

But I don’t know. I’m not Scottish, but giving a tartan to someone outside of the family sounds mildly horny. Maybe this is what the FBI should look into.

Update, 5:40 p.m.: I received an important message from my Very Real British Friend™ Tiegan, who relayed my question of Steele’s horniness to her gran, described by Tiegan as, “so Scottish nobody can understand her”: “Yes, it could be an indication [that Steele was horny], but [a] family tartan in terms of relationships is normally given to the other at their actual wedding ceremony.”