Diamond Planet Discovered, Ladies Attempt To Contain Themselves

Astronomers have spotted a planet that appears to be made of a diamond orbiting around a tiny star. The planet, which is 4,000 light years away, is denser than any other known and is made of mostly carbon. It’s believed that the carbon is in a crystalline pattern, making the planet a diamond. It’s truly a fascinating scientific discovery, because ZOMG! LADIES! DIAMONDS! GIRL’S BEST FRIEND AND WHATNOT!

Don’t get too excited though: there’s no indication that it looks like a giant sparkly rock. And if you’re familiar with Star Trek at all, you know that if we tried to chip off a piece, we’d discover it’s actually a strange, superintelligent life form that wants nothing to do with primitive creatures who freak out over shiny things.