Desperate Dad Goes to Prison for One Direction Bomb Threat

William H. Klein, a 47-year-old New Jersey man, was sentenced to 8 months in federal prison and 2 months of house arrest this week for calling in a bomb threat before a July 5 One Direction concert at Hersheypark in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Klein, a divorced father of two, made the call after failing to procure tickets for his two daughters.

Penn Live reports:

In a sentencing memorandum, [Assistant Federal Public Defender Thomas A.] Thornton attributed Klein’s threat to mental health problems, a desperate desire to bond with his 10- and 14-year-old daughters, a failed attempt to get tickets for the One Direction gig and horrific judgment.

Thornton wrote that Klein, who had repeated child custody disputes with his ex-wife, tried to get tickets through a friend and told his very excited daughters that he was taking them to the concert. The friend didn’t come through, however, and Klein’s other attempts to get tickets for the sold-out performance came to naught.

According to Thorton, Klein became desperate after one of his daughters threatened to never speak to him again if he didn’t take her to the concert. Uhhhh, maybe he should have called in a bomb threat on his daughter’s shitty personality instead because she sounds super unchill.

Unfortunately for Klein, his disastrous attempt to cancel the 1D show didn’t have its desired effect. The stadium was swept for bombs and, when nothing was found, the concert went on as planned. He was then caught after the FBI was able to trace the call to a pay phone at a New Jersey gas station and use video surveillance to identify him. He admitted in court that it was a very bad idea.

Also:

“Now,” Thornton wrote, “his daughters are more upset with him.”

There are so many depressing aspects to this story that I can’t even properly make fun of it :(:(:(:(:(