Democrats Also Believe in Pizzagate and Other Stupid Ideas

Image via AP.
Image via AP.

People on the left love to say how gullible Republicans are, but it turns out we’re all stupid and bad. That explains a lot, doesn’t it?


The persistent fraudulent election conspiracy that circulated around an innocent D.C. pizza place called Comet Ping Pong has had serious repercussions: an armed man popping in to do his own investigation into the imaginary ring of pedophiles working out of the restaurant’s non-existent basement. The popularity of this rumor amongst Republicans is obvious, as Hillary Clinton herself was the supposed leader of this sex ring (like she didn’t have enough on her plate this year). But did you know they’re not the only ones who believe in #Pizzagate?

In a new poll from the Economist and YouGovUs, it was revealed that approximately 11% of Trump voters believe that the rumors of Clinton’s emails containing secret pedophile pizza messages were “definitely true,” and 35% think they’re “probably true.” Makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that around 17% of Clinton’s supporters think the rumors are probably or definitely true!

Around 25% of Clinton voters also believe that millions of illegal votes were cast in this year’s election, 20% think vaccines cause autism, and 49% prefer “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays.” That last one is not conspiracy related, but it’s also a ridiculously high number of people who care about the season’s greetings.

While YouGovUs is still touting these polls as an example of how political affiliation determines your susceptibility to conspiracy theories, 17% seems entirely too high a number for any Democrat to feel good about their party. These polls were supposedly taken after Edgar Maddison Welch turned a gun on a hapless dough flipper at Comet Ping Pong, which may have lent the story some credence to skeptics. After all, why would someone do something so crazy if they didn’t have good cause? Because people are stupid and bad, no matter how they vote, and that includes all the options.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin



Yes. Idiots exist in both parties.

But if this election has proved anything, it’s that polling means nothing.