David Crosby's (Maybe) Got a Big Old Dick
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Happy Monday, it’s a beautiful day, famous people aren’t doing much of note aside from recovering in private from their various Halloween antics, so let’s pivot to a man who was famous in the past, talking about his dick on Twitter.
The man above is David Crosby, the “C” in CSNY, a band that peaked a million years ago and the members of which have since dispersed to the winds. Mr. Crosby is doing whatever, man: smoking weed, touring when he can, and also, answering questions on Twitter, which is something I have been told he does a lot! Love that kind of life for Mr. Crosby, but let’s take a look at the following answer to a question that I suppose was pressing to some.
Listen… I know that “kim possible facts” is asking a question for comedy’s sake, knowing full well that David Crosby has the goddamn time to answer these questions, and so with that in mind I’ll release the secondhand embarrassment I feel about tweeting at famous people for jokes. Let’s examine David Crosby’s answer. So his body is the “caboose” to his “Dick.” Traditionally, the caboose is at the end of the line of trains, and the shit up ahead of the caboose is the precious cargo—the freight train, the dining car, the whatever. So the caboose supports the rest of the situation, which, in this case, is the dick. And if the body is being called the caboose to the dick, then that must mean the dick is big if not quite impressive. I will sit with this information for some time, and perhaps unpack my feelings about it in therapy. Maybe you all could consider doing the same! [Twitter]
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still sniping at each other on Instagram even though Megan is clearly very happy with MGK. Now it’s about their kid. It seems Brian shared a picture of their child on Instagram and did not obscure the child’s face? And Megan got mad. Instead of calling Bri-Bri on the phone like a normal person might, and hashing this out there, she instead said this in the comments:
“Why does Journey have to be in this picture? It’s not hard to crop them out. Or choose photos they aren’t in,” Fox began…
Fox added how she had a “great Halloween” with the kids — which also includes sons Noah, 8, and 6-year-old Bodhi — but noted, “How absent they are from [her] social media.”
“I know you love your kids. But I don’t know why you can’t stop using them to posture via Instagram,” she continued. “You’re so intoxicated with feeding the pervasive narrative that I’m an absent mother, and you are the perennial, eternally dedicated dad of the year. You have them half of the time. Congratulations you truly are a remarkable human!”
Here’s the photo and comment in question, in case you need to see it to believe it.
Oy…. wouldn’t it be easier to do this on the phone? Really. Please! [Page Six]