Darrell Hammond Shares Tales Of Drug Abuse, Cutting, Leaving SNL In A Straight Jacket

Darrell Hammond has come up with an interesting strategy for keeping himself out of the tabloids: Write a memoir detailing every sad and sordid thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s a lot like when stars sell the first photos of their babies to get a jump on the paparazzi, only with more cocaine, disturbing tales of childhood abuse, and run-ins with Bill Clinton. In God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F—-ed: Tales of Stand-Up, ‘Saturday Night Live,’ and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem, Hammond reveals that his mother was horrifically violent toward him as a child, and he started to impressions of people in the neighborhood to distract her from hurting him. As an adult he turned to cocaine, crack, and alcohol to deal with the trauma, and once got so drunk that he missed an appearance at Bill Clinton’s second inauguration and woke up incoherent in the airport. Another time he cut himself badly while working at SNL and a paramedic put him in a straight jacket. One thing you won’t find in the book is criticism of SNL alums. “I don’t have anything bad to say about anyone there,” he said. “They all really went above and beyond the call for me.” [The Wrap, NYP]