Daily Show: Sarah Palin's Iowa Speech Was Actual Goddamn Gibberish

What could be more fun than the lead-up to the Republican presidential primaries, when people like Donald Trump and Sarah Palin make their usual, unintentionally hilarious Running For President noises? But as the Daily Show pointed out last night, Palin’s recent speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit crossed into… well, actual noise. Seriously, it was nonsense. U ok, Sarah?

The Iowa Freedom Summit is a time for the wingnuttiest Tea Party Republicans to get together for a vigorous circle-jerk, and the speakers were a veritable who’s who of people you wouldn’t want to get stuck in an elevator with: Mike Huckabee, Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Chris Christie, Carly Fiorina, Rick Santorum. But something weird happened with Palin: the most coherent part of her speech, as Right Wing Watch points out, was something about how defeating Hillary Clinton will require accusing liberals of racism and sexism. But at some point, as Jon Stewart put it, “her subjects stopping talking to her verbs.” Some samples:

– “Our government, it isn’t too big to fail. It’s too big to succeed. It’s too big to succeeds, so we can afford no retreads. Or the same people and the same policies that got us into the status quo — another Latin word, status quo, and it stands for, ‘Man, middle-class every-day Americans are really gettin’ taken for a ride.”

– “And GOP leaders, by the way — the Man can only ride ya when your back is bent. So strengthen it! Then the man can’t ride ya. America won’t be taken for a ride, because so much is at stake, and we can’t afford politicians playing games like nothing more is at stake than, oh, myabe just the next standing of theirs in the next election.”

– “What will they do to stop causing our pain and start feeling it again? Well, in other words, um, is Hillary a new Democrat or an old one? Now, the press asks, the press asks, ‘Can anyone stop Hillary?’ Again, this is to forego a conclusion, right? It’s to scare us off, to convince us that — a pantsuit can crush patriots.”

The cause of all this, er, spirited improvisation was an evident teleprompter malfunction mid-speech. Understandable, sure, but you’d think a woman who’s delivered so many folksy-aphorism-laden stump speeches might have one or two memorized by now? Especially for an audience like the Freedom Summit’s, where all they really wanted was to hear the President called “lawless,” the government referred to as “Big Government” and “those fat-cats in Washington,” and small-town Americans hailed as heroes. See? Even I can do it.

Here’s the full clip, with Palin’s remarks beginning at 5:20. You see if you can figure out what she was getting at: