Comment Of The Day: Halloween Proves Deadly For Imaginary Child

Today GMA helpfully pointed out all of the ways your kid could kick it on Halloween. The news came too late for Ding-DangBlog and his non-existent son:

My imaginary child’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume caught on fire. He ran across the street only to be hit by a car (how did the driver not notice this). In his last moments he consumed some of the poisonous, razor blade filled candy that he obtained while Trick-or-Treating. As I began beating out the flames, I said, “I will always love you, Donatello.” He gasped, “Dad, my name is Timmy.” Big mistake. I know, but it was a very convincing costume.

Imaginary services will be held a Chuck E. Cheese. We are scattering my pretend son’s ashes (I was never able to get that fire put out) in the Ticket Blaster.

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