Introducing Coffee-mate's Thin MintsĀ® and SamoasĀ® flavor coffee creamer-like substances. Because the best part of waking up, is chemical death flavored garbage funk in your cup!

Who am I kidding? If these were vegan (how are they not vegan? There is no real milk or cream in there!), I'd be all over them. Please be advised: Every sip takes 2-10 days off your life. Worth it.

We're told to be on the lookout for them at your local retailer. IN HELL. No, JK, probably Safeway, Ralph's, etc. That said, I triple dog dare you to ask for this at Whole Foods.