Christmas Tree or Jameela Jamil?

Illustration for article titled Christmas Tree or Jameela Jamil?
Image: Valerie Macon (Getty Images), Cindy Ord (Getty Images)

Here’s a question: what’s very tall, scared of bees, and prone to clapping back at haters who would try to come for its place in The Culture? Think about this. Think it through! Really have a think.. Make a guess, any guess. Is it Amy Schumer? Is it Priyanka Chopra? Is it Mrs. Justin Bieber? Michelle Obama? Barron Trump? 

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All these guesses are wrong, the celebrity starlet who is causing a RUCKUS by slamming its haters on social media is the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, who is not going to let her haters come for her this time, okay!!! What happened is this: the Christmas tree arrived in Rockefeller Center on November 14, after a two-day journey from Oneonta, NY. Usually, everyone is happy to see Ms. Tree, because it’s pretty with all its lights on, and also, when they “light” the thing, famous people like Mariah Carey sing at its feet. Usually, Ms. Tree is lush, robust, and fulsome, but this year, she’s looking a little... different.

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If you have the time to parse the comments in that Instagram post, you’ll see that the tree’s haters are plentiful. She’s not as fluffy as she normally is, I guess, and since we’ve all reached the end of our collective ropes and are searching for anything that is fun and “funny, Ms. Tree’s bedraggled appearance is it, for now. The body-shaming of the tree began in earnest over the weekend and ratcheted up to such a degree that the tree had no choice but to speak out.

Shots fired! Take that, haters! This tree is going to take her sweet-ass time getting good and ready for her grand debut. She’s going to get a fucking blowout and when she emerges from her spa week, it is OVER for you hoes. [New York Post]


Okay, here’s something nice: Will Smith and Janet Hubert have finally buried the ax on their decades-long beef? Hello? It fucking took this long? What is WRONG with everyone??

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Hubert played the first Aunt Viv on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and for the three seasons she was on the show, she and Big Willy Style famously butted heads. Now they have finally buried the hatchet on this old-ass beef, which is the kind of reconciliation I like to see in this shit-ass year. The beef burial happened during a reunion for the show that aired on HBO Max Wednesday. Aunt Viv is at peace, Will Smith is sorry, and now we can all rest easy. [New York Post]

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  • Teresa Giudice is taking it “slow” with her new man, thank god. [Page Six]
  • Bobby Brown Jr. has died. [People]
  • I don’t think this hair change for Taylor Swift means shit, but what do I know? [E! News]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

weirdly vitriolic post taking shots at a number of women (and one child) for no reason... over a tree... where an official account made a light hearted response and somehow that translates to an insult?