Chris Christie Declined Several Positions in the Trump Administration

Photo Credit: Getty Images
Photo Credit: Getty Images

New Jersey governor, professional sycophant, and unrequited Bruce Springsteen lover Chris Christie seems to be dislodging himself from Donald Trump’s shrieking asshole—but not for any noble reason, mind you. Offered several executive appointments, Christie turned down all of them, and in the meantime was passed over for the one he really wanted: attorney general.


CNN reports that Christie panted after this position, and that he had been assured of getting it. However, Trump ultimately appointed Jeff Sessions, Alabama Senator and audacious racist, as his attorney general. Christie was instead offered Homeland Security secretary, secretary of veteran affairs, ambassador to Italy, and a number of other ostensibly less flashy roles in the administration.

It seems that Christie’s star—despite its desperate glister—faded when he was incriminated in the New Jersey “Bridgegate” scandal. In fact, a whopping 71 percent of New Jersey voters would like to see him criminally charged. But who knows whether Trump would have honored his alleged promise in any case. “Honor” is not a word in Trump’s minuscule vocabulary.

It’s also unlikely that Christie will replace Reince Priebus as chairman of the Republican National Committee—another role for which he was being considered.

And so, here we are. Christie enters into his final year as governor alienated from the Trump administration, no longer the cornucopia of dreams he once imagined. When a man plays himself as Christie so handily did, he must suffer accordingly. Look for him huddled in the back of his closet, weeping along to “Glory Days.”


Adrastra, patron saint of not giving a fuck

At this point, I’m not sure I believe this. It feels a bit like an attempt to save face.