Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Chip and Joanna Gaines of Fixer Upper Are Launching a Magazine and I Am Elated

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I have never been more excited to type words like these words I am about to write for you now: Chip and Joanna Gaines of HGTV’s Fixer Upper are launching a magazine and I unironically cannot wait.

People reports that the Gaines will be releasing a quarterly lifestyle publication set to launch in October 2016, focusing on all of the fun things that make their insanely popular TV show, Fixer Upper one of the highest-rated programs on HGTV. According to the press release at PR Newswire, the magazines first issue will focus on “Hospitality.”

For a clearer idea of what precisely will be in this magazine and why, Joanna Gaines said the following:

“The magazine will help inspire readers to create their best homes, families, and lives, while making every moment count...It will encourage readers to make the most of what they have and discover the inherent beauty all around them.”

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There is indeed so much beauty around us, JoJo! I cannot wait for your magazine to help me discover said beauty, especially if it includes shiplap and French doors and salvaged chairs nailed to the wall as decoration.

Out of all the offerings on HGTV, America’s premiere channel for guilty pleasure television, Fixer Upper is a particularly sparkly gem. The Property Brothers are dead-eyed Pound Puppies who enjoy a brotherly relationship that feels unhealthy at best. The couple behind Flip or Flop scare me. Despite the fact that Chip and Joanna Gaines have a relationship that seems like a carefully-constructed front that exists merely for the show, I don’t care. They are endearing and that “barndominium” they redid was amazing. I loved it and I don’t care who knows it!

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Also it is clear to me that Chip is a rogue element that needs to be carefully watched, as evidenced by that one time he ate a roach.

The magazine will appear on newsstands sometime in the fall and fellow obsessives can snatch it up for a reasonable $7.99.