Child's First Flush Celebrated with Giant Toilet Cake, Grown Men Dressed as Toilets and 10,000 Confetti Toilets

“The moment this kid flushes, it’s gonna be unbelievable,” says the man Pull-Ups hired to act as a director to what they’re calling “the biggest surprise potty party in history”. I’m gonna go ahead and guess it’s the only surprise potty party in history, but that quibble is for another day.

The recipient of the fanfare/probable trauma is an unsuspecting boy named Eli, who naively thinks he’s relieving himself into a toilet for the first time with just his parents watching. SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!

On the occasion of Eli’s flush, what looks to be hundreds of Burning Man-looking chumps assemble in front of his house — some in stilts, some dressed as cheerleaders, and still others disguised as giant talking toilets. When the poor kid finally flushes, all hell breaks lose.

All I can think while watching the insanity is how Eli is gonna be pissed when he goes to the bathroom for the second time. Welcome to the real world, kid! It’s all downhill from here. When you get older, the only “surprise potty party” you get for taking a shit is a stinky bathroom and maybe a hemorrhoid or two.