Checking In On Disgraced Celebrity Pastor Carl Lentz, Suffering from 'Pastoral Burnout'

The most interesting (to me) thing about Carl Lentz, disgraced former pastor at Hillsong, is how he appears to embody a vast array of contradictions: a cool man with an unwavering dedication to dressing like Terry Richardson who also loves Supreme, the Lord, and Justin Bieber. These contradictions, which are now clearly a distraction from the fact that he’s just a regular guy who does stuff like cheat on his wife and let fame go to his head, are part of his brand, which was helpful for Hillsong’s seeming campaign to court and woo the young, rich, and holy. The second most interesting thing to me about Carl Lentz is the fact that he is suffering from “pastoral burnout.”

Lentz has reportedly entered treatment for anxiety, depression, and the aforementioned “burnout,” after he was fired from Hillsong for having multiple affairs and, generally, not conducting himself as a man of faith is expected. Brian Houston, one of the founders of Hillsong, was caught on tape discussing Lentz’s multiple affairs; there have also been many lengthy Instagram posts begging for forgiveness. Ranin Karim, the Brooklyn-based fashion designer with whom Lentz had an affair, appeared on Good Morning America to discuss. This whole thing is a mess! It’s a mess that, I’m sorry, feels sort of OK to look at closely, only because of all the other messy things happening right now, this is just an old-fashioned cheating scandal, made sliiightly more interesting because it involves the chruch that famous people attend.

There’s always more to these stories! Carl Lentz’s hypebeast Jesus vibe is both repellent and also…. compelling. I don’t know whether to look away or to stare into its bright, blaring center. I would like more information, as it becomes available. Please. The time for good gossip is now. [Page Six]

Okay, so this Us Weekly hit on Rihanna and ASAP Rocky’s new romance supposes that Rihanna keeps people “in the friend zone.” While I am thrilled that Rihanna and Rocky are now public with their “relationship,” I’d like to present an alternate theory that isn’t so much a theory as it is just, like, common sense?

First, here’s what the tabloid had to say:

According to the source, “A$AP has been very into Rihanna for years” and “was always the instigator” in their flirtatious connection. The Grammy winner, however, “would brush off his advances and kept him in the friend zone” until recently.

“Things changed over the summer and they finally hooked up,” the insider adds. “They’ve been together ever since.”

It is none of my business what Rihanna does with her time and with whom she does what she does. But I feel that unlike Drake and his obvious thirst for Rihanna, Rocky’s been just a little more casual with his feelings, which means that maybe they’ve been in the “talking” phase, to use the parlance of teenagers and the emotionally immature male adult, for years. That doesn’t mean they haven’t boned necessarily! It just means that they’ve maybe done that with each other and then with other people, then back to each other when the timing worked out, and repeat. Now, the timing is perfect. No others! Just them. A love story that is less fairytale and more “this works for right now, bitch.” It’s beautiful and, for me and hopefully for them, perfect. [Us Weekly]

Queen Elizabeth II will soon have another grandchild to add to the pile. [People]
If Kim Kardashian gets the president to pardon Joe Exotic, I will have to take to a sanatorium for a month’s bed-rest. [NY Post]
Okay, can someone wrangle The Situation and tell him that appearing on a reality show on MTV does not exempt him from doing the community service he needs to do to fulfill the obligations of his probation? [TMZ]