Check Out 'Baberham' Lincoln Over Here

If we were doing a Would U of Abraham Lincoln, I Would, and that’s only referring the craggy, bearded, stove pipe hat version. But a young Lincoln? Hello, Mr. President.


DNA Info reports that a statue by Charles Keck in Senn Park, Chicago, has been giving recreationalists and historians hot flashes since 1997, but social media has amped up the pensive, shoeless Lincoln’s fame. For instance, this Foursquare review that reads, “Young Abe Lincoln = TOTAL FOX.” And he is:


Civil War In Art writes that the sculpture is supposed to give you “the feeling that Lincoln has just finished work, found a comfortable tree stump to sit on, grabbed his book, and is lost in his law studies.” Sorry, that statue is not thinking about the law. He’s thinking about me!!!

Some local horndogs didn’t even knew who they were lusting after:

Some simply referred to the piece as “Sexy Abe,” a term West Ridge resident Becky Ozaki said she agreed with while waiting for her bus near the statue Tuesday afternoon.

“He is ‘Sexy Lincoln’; they’re right,” Ozaki said.

She’d seen the piece before but never realized it was the famous ex-president, she said.

Upon closer inspection, she thought the sculpture bore a resemblance to actor Tony Goldwyn, who, interestingly, plays President Fitzgerald Grant III on the ABC series “Scandal.”

Oh my god, he does.

Its location near Senn High School makes many new students assume the statue is of the school’s founder, Nicholas Senn. Is it more confusing to be attracted to a dead president or your great-great-great-great principal? Whoever he is, I Still Would, provided that when the statue comes to life, it can be dipped in warm water to heat to human-like temperatures.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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Kenny and the Llamas

That’s not a law book, that’s Elizabeth Barrett Browning. He just memorized “How Do I Love Thee?” and is about to recite it. To me.