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Last night was the 1,144th and final show of Celine Dion’s 16-year Vegas residency, and she made sure that a guy in the front row did not miss a single goddamn second.

When Dion noticed the fan getting up, she paused the music in order to wait for him to get back to his seat since, as she rightly pointed out, he probably paid a large fortune for front-row tickets at the final performance. And because she is benevolent but not stupid, Dion did not shake the man’s hand when he returned to his seat, as she had no way of knowing if he’d washed up after his trip to the WC.

“We all waited for you,” she said as she bumped elbows with the concertgoer who’d recently urinated.


Dion closed the show with a new song called “Flying on My Own” once everyone was settled, bladders empty, and ready to pay their full attention.