Tuesday saw the release of a new trailer for Cats, a film by Tom Hooper that’s based on the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical everyone in the world seems to know and love, except for Jezebel’s Maria Sherman and me, Emily Alford. While Maria has drunkenly asked friends to describe the plot, I prefer to watch the trailers and hypothesize. Unfortunately, this new trailer yet again provides few clues. Based on the limited information we’ve collected, here’s some woefully uninformed speculation as to what the plot of Cats might be. Are you tired of the Cats news cycle yet? No! Yes! No!
Emily: Is it cat Hunger Games? The husky-voiced cat in the trailer says it’s dangerous.
Maria: My understanding, which is based solely on the fact that my parents saw 30 minutes of the play once 30 years ago, and that I’ve asked some musical theater dorks in drunk party situations, is that Cats is about one cat going to cat heaven. The rest, I assume, burn in hell, along with the play itself. But is it like a new cat every time? Does the play change? Because that could be interesting.
Emily: And there are no humans. This is just cat world right?
Maria: No humans. It’s like a Toy Story situation. The people are away so the cats will play with their cat boobs. But they are micro-cats, smaller than regular cat size, judging by the first trailer.
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