Blogging often feels like emotional abuse masked as news, but every once in a while, the benevolent gods at Vulture send me to you with a golden scroll, and HERE IT IS: CARDI B IS HAVING A CARDI BABY!!!! I was supposed to be writing you a Dirt Bag gossip round-up right now, but I’m not tainting this.

She announced it via baby bump while performing Be Careful last night on SNL, during which the camera panned down to her stomach (scroll to 2:30 above). Speculation has run rampant due to recent draperies such as this tremendous lamé tent and poofs of silky mohair.

The people guessed in February, and she told an Instagram commenter, “No bitch I’m just getting fat. Let me fat in peace.” This week, she told Beats 1 that she’s “not a damn animal at the zoo that you just could see everything, no.”

Now she is finally free!

Watch her exclaim “I’m finally free!”:

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Here is her tweet:

She looks fantastic:

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She even inspired a pretty good SNL skit!

TMZ says she’s due in July.

She’s still going to Coachella.