Cannes Red Carpet 2022: Vintage Glamour, Floofballs, and a Vagina Dress

Cannes Red Carpet 2022: Vintage Glamour, Floofballs, and a Vagina Dress

Lori Harvey, Rebecca Hall, Eva Longoria, and more showed up in their biggest and brightest gowns for the 75th annual Cannes Film Festival.

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Image for article titled Cannes Red Carpet 2022: Vintage Glamour, Floofballs, and a Vagina Dress
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The 75th Cannes Film Festival kicked off this week, yet another event in which the most beautiful and glamorous and richest among us wear things on a red carpet that we can then discuss—in this case, while they celebrate themselves and their movies in a coastal French resort town.

This year’s fête, which runs through May 28, is slated to feature a tribute to actor Tom Cruise, the premiere of his film Top Gun: Maverick, the premiere of Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis Presley biopic, George Miller’s first film since Mad Max: Fury Road, and more. It’s already proving to be a buzzy, news-making few weeks as Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy gave a live satellite video on just the first day. In his stream, Zelenskyy talked about the connection between film and reality and even quoted Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator: “The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.”

Outside of political appearances and the films they’re all there to laud, the celebs really went for it this year. Let’s get to the looks.

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Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria

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Photo: Stephane Cardinale - Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images (Getty Images)

Eva wore sheer black Alberta Ferretti gown with... A CHOKER?! It’s not super of the moment, but whatever, she’s hot.

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Lori Harvey

Lori Harvey

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Photo: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images (Getty Images)

The model and daughter of Steve Harvey looked like a perfect lemon buttercream cupcake in Alexandre Vauthier couture, dripping in more than 130 carats of diamonds, apparently. It’s giving Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

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Deepika Padukone

Deepika Padukone

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Photo: Daniele Venturelli/WireImage (Getty Images)

Padukone, who’s on the Cannes jury this year, looked stunning in a glittering retro black and gold saree. And I see someone was inspired by Julia Fox’s DIY Black Swan eye makeup!

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Katherine Langford

Katherine Langford

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Photo: Samir Hussein/WireImage (Getty Images)

The 26-year-old 13 Reasons Why star looks like the most elegant Christmas tree topper I’ve ever seen.

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Didi Stone

Didi Stone

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Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Now we’re talking! Stone won the red carpet, hands down. She looks like a walking vintage photo in Roberto Cavalli. My only negative is that, given the flower nips, I am suddenly reminded of flowers and trees blooming out of Madonna’s vagina.

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Julianne Moore

Julianne Moore

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Photo: Stephane Cardinale - Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images (Getty Images)

Moore took the plunge in Bottega Veneta. I would be smiling that big too if I had several mil’ in emeralds dripping off my chest.

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Lashana Lynch

Lashana Lynch

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Photo: Stephane Cardinale - Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images (Getty Images)

She looks ethereal, and yet, a bit like furniture upholstery or maybe drapes?? Lord forgive me.

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Bebe Vio

Bebe Vio

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Photo: Marc Piasecki/FilmMagic (Getty Images)

The Italian wheelchair fencer is giving a deconstructed shoulder pad moment.

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Rossy de Palma

Rossy de Palma

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Photo: Stephane Cardinale - Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images (Getty Images)

Anna Wintour could never.

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Tallia Storm

Tallia Storm

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Photo: Stefanie Rex/picture alliance via Getty Images (Getty Images)

“BABY YOU’RE A FIIIIIIIREWORK!!!!”

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Meryem Uzerli

Meryem Uzerli

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Photo: Stefanie Rex/picture alliance via Getty Images (Getty Images)

Ah, here’s Meryem in Yanina Couture, just off her commute from Grime’s space commune.

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Frédérique Bel

Frédérique Bel

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Photo: Stefanie Rex/picture alliance via Getty Images (Getty Images)

I love an extremely expensive loufa cape. It’s important to exfoliate!

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Amandine Petit

Amandine Petit

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Photo: Stefanie Rex/picture alliance via Getty Images (Getty Images)

Petit’s mint dress is gorgeous, but I will never not think someone looks like an Elven from the Lord of the Rings in one of those diamond headbands.

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Caro Daur

Caro Daur

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Photo: Stefanie Rex/picture alliance via Getty Images (Getty Images)

Extremely mod, extremely cute, love the matching platform heels, no notes.

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Rebecca Hall

Rebecca Hall

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Photo: Samir Hussein/WireImag (Getty Images)

This is a vagina dress screaming, “I am the cradle of civilization!” Obviously here for cooch couture.

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Galina Antonova

Galina Antonova

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Photo: Daniele Venturelli/WireImage (Getty Images)

Everyone give it up for your 2022 PROM QUEEN!

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