Can You Believe Today's Hottest Celebrity News Is That John Stamos Is Becoming a Dad For the First Time?

Image via People.
Image via People.

Maybe it’s because other famous people are too busy doing their holiday shopping/traveling to make headlines, or maybe it’s because Harry and Meghan’s engagement has exhausted the purveyors of our biggest tabloids to the point that they have lost the ability to differentiate between big scoops and big snoozes, but Wednesday morning’s hottest celebrity news is about John Stamos becoming a dad.

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Is he pregnant? No, of course not! His fiancée Caitlin McHugh is, but she is a minor detail in all of these stories (including this one, because I honestly do not know her).

News that John Stamos—a man who has probably been having sex for, oh, let’s be generous and say 30 years—impregnated someone is the furthest possible thing from cover-worthy, but there he is, smiling in distressed denim and wearing bracelets he’s much too old for on this week’s People. They even published a photo of him trying and failing to assemble a crib! You know, because he’s gonna be a dumb dad!

Forgive me in advance for this one: have mercy.

[People]


Speaking of babies, George and Amal Clooney are making headlines today because they handed out noise-canceling headphones to passengers on a recent flight “to apologize for having their 6-month-old twins on board.”

But the best part of this story—the part that should have been in all the headlines—is that the headphones were branded. Page Six reports they “had the logo of his Casamigos tequila and came with a note ‘apologizing ahead of time’ if the twins cried.”

[Page Six]


Illustration for article titled Can You Believe Today's Hottest Celebrity News Is That John Stamos Is Becoming a Dad For the First Time?
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Bobby Finger: ‘there’s been absolutely no talk’ of me ever watching it.

[Celebitchy]


  • One of TMZ’s best “MEMBA THEMS” in a while. [TMZ]
  • I think Daisy Ridley’s dress is cool as hell. Am I wrong? [Celebitchy]
  • Everyone needs to stop speculating about Kylie Jenner’s theoretical pregnancy. [Hollywood Life]
  • If you need all the details about Kelsea Ballerini and Morgan Evans’s wedding, boy do I have a story for you! [People]
  • If you need a mental image of Elon Musk at a holiday party, boy do I have a story for you! [Page Six]

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

DISCUSSION

JujyMonkey: unstable genius

News that John Stamos—a man who has probably been having sex for, oh, let’s be generous and say 30 years

Bobby, are you insinuating that John Stamos didn’t lose his virginity until he was 24?

I’ll add that becoming a dad at 54 is no easy thing. I can only speak for myself, but I didn’t become one until i was 39 and it was definitely tougher than our friends who had theirs at 10 years younger.