Butt What About Accidental Anal?

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

Do you have a vagina and a butt? Here’s a thought experiment for you to participate in: Imagine you’re a virgin, unless you are a virgin, in which case imagine you are yourself just as you are.


Imagine you are lying down for your first sexual experience, and there is another person, with a penis (necessary for this experiment—again, bear with me), and that person is trying to achieve penetration. Imagine that that person is also a virgin. Imagine that person finds a hole and sticks their penis into it, but—whoops!—it’s your butt.

My questions are: Is this possible? And what would you do?

This afternoon, I had a memory of multiple friends of mine telling me about an experience like this—in which they accidentally had anal sex before vaginal sex. (Just to be super clear, I am not attaching judgement to either of those holes; they both are equally and differently useful.) When I shared this memory with my Jezebel colleagues, some related to the possibility, while most were incapable of fathoming how holes could become confused.


“I don’t really understand accidental anal,” said Brendan, a staff man. “Like I understand drunkenly fumbling around and being like oops that your b-hole nvm... I don’t understand how there could be accidental b-hole penetration tho.”

Good points, for a man. I, however, can imagine a scenario where you’re like, “Hm? Something is amiss. I am unable to identify what that something is—Oh, it’s my b-hole.”

And how about you? And why aren’t we talking about this more? #AccidentalBHoleAwareness.

Senior Editor, Jezebel

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Could be worse:

TL;DR women was having sex through her urethra her entire life.