British Clinic Promises To Render You Infertile During Your Lunch Hour

And the best part? Your husband doesn't have to know. It's secrety!

The clinic in question provides its female patients with Essure, a non-surgical procedure that involves inserting small metal coils into the fallopian tubes. The procedure costs around $5,000 a pop and lasts about 45 minutes. At the conclusion of the tubes' insertion, the patient is rendered permanently sterile. (Unless you're Picabo Street.)

(Aside: All this time, I've just been trying to permanently sterilize myself by standing really close to the microwave while heating up burritos, hoping the radiation would have a similar effect. So far, no dice. My ovaries are still functional, although I'm pretty sure that if I were to get pregnant now, I'd give birth to a litter of baby X-Men.)

The clinic, predictably, is catching flack for holding itself out to the public as a place for women to go to lie about something important to their partners, but the reality is that a sterilization technique that can remain secret from a woman's male partner is unfortunate but necessary. The reality is that some women don't have control over their bodies and for these women, James Bond-heist-style lunch hour sterilizations need to exist.

Secret Lunch Hour Sterilizations Offered To Women Who Do Not Want Their Partners To Know [Telegraph]