Britain Tormented by Plague of Polka Dot Dresses

Illustration for article titled Britain Tormented by Plague of Polka Dot Dresses
Screenshot: Instagram hot4thespot

In 1518, a plague of dancing overtook a village in what is now part of France. For a full month, hundreds of people found themselves unable to stop their limbs from flailing. Dozens of villagers danced themselves to death, victims of some unfortunate, intense manifestation of our human instinct to fit in with the crowd. A similarly dangerous pack hysteria has once again reared its head in Europe. This time in the UK, where thousands of women have become overwhelmed by the desire to don the same $50 Zara dress.

Illustration for article titled Britain Tormented by Plague of Polka Dot Dresses
Screenshot: Zara

According to the New York Times, the dress, which is an unholy alliance of the shapeless, ruffle-hemmed prairie dress and the polka dot trend currently blistering the fabrics of fast fashion outlets, has been spotted so frequently throughout Britain that it has its own public-service Instagram account, aptly named hot4thespot. To date, the polka dot prairie dress plague has reportedly claimed victims from 80 to infancy.

Faye Oakenfull runs the Instagram account designed as a warning system for Brits to alert each other of newly affected parts of the UK. Typhoid Marys have popped up to spread the hysteria just about everywhere, though Oakenfull says patterns have begun to emerge:

“I can be pretty certain where she’ll be hanging out at weekends,” Ms. Oakenfull said of the demographic. “She loves a bottomless brunch, food markets, day festivals, tennis, baby showers (sometimes hers), hen dos, polo, work parties, weddings, rooftop bars and poolside prosecco. Most of all, she just really loves food shopping in Marks & Spencer.”

Thoughts and prayers for the families and loved ones of those lost to the polka dot prairie dress plague.



That dress is hideous...but I must admit that if you are going to have a bottomless brunch, that sort of camouflaging shapelessness is going to be your best friend.