Brangelina: We Are 'Committed to Act as a United Front to Effectuate Recovery and Reunification’

After nearly four months, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie “have reached an agreement to keep their divorce and custody battle out of the public eye.” Their divorce papers are officially sealed, and we may have to wait years (perhaps a decade?!) for one of them to sit down for a profile that will shed some light on what exactly ripped their marriage to shreds.

Here is the statement they provided to Us Weekly (bold mine):

“The parties and their counsel have signed agreements to preserve the privacy rights of their children and family by keeping all court documents confidential and engaging a private judge to make any necessary legal decisions and to facilitate the expeditious resolution of any remaining issues. The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification.”

Excuse me, a united front? Just last week, Jolie filed documents in which she claimed Pitt was “terrified that the public would learn the truth” about their divorce. Pitt himself has said…nothing? since then. That doesn’t sound like the behavior of two people who are part of a “united front” to me.

Conscious uncoupling this is not, you two. I don’t believe your lies.