What do you do when you’re a young public sector go-getter who suddenly finds herself bored, homebound, and sans paycheck thanks to the government shutdown? Something cheap, something stress relieving, something easy — why not post an ad to Craigslist’s casual encounters section for “shutdown sex”? You certainly wouldn’t be alone.
Ads seeking “shutdown sex” have popped up like so many mysterious sores the Washington, DC-specific Craigslist page. After I read the Washington Post’s Alexandra Petri’s account of responding to some of the grosser ads, my curiosity was so unbelievably piqued that I ended up heading over to Craigslist myself and trying to see if there were really that many horny randos who were trying to peg their boners to Boehner.
There are.
What follows are some of the best shutdown sex-seeking ads from DC’s Craigslist. Trigger warning: ew.
Furlough sensual massage – m4mm – 31
I am one of the people affected by the government shutdown. I need some extra income to help while the shutdown continues. I am a handsome 31 year old white male. I give great sensual massages and other services. I’m tall, clean, sane, d&d free, strong hands, moist tongue and a sensual touch. Email me for pic, info, rate and to schedule. I’m available all day and evening. I can’t host need to travel to your hotel/home near a metro. Put furlough in subject so I know your real. Please be real and serious!
Was on the fence until we got to the part where he revealed that he has one of those moist tongues I keep hearing about.
Gov’t shutdown day 2: whatcha gonna do about it? – m4w – 28 (DC/ MD)
Are you and otherwise busy and proffessional female government employee that has been left with nothing to do, writhing in sexual angst? Than I have the bi- partisan solution for you—let’s hookup.“What a fantastic idea!” You may exclaim out loud, upon reading this. After all, what better way to spend a lazy fall afternoon than pondering the merits of congressional term limits than with your legs wrapped around the face of a handsome, clean-cut, 28yo professional that represents the interests of a private corporation, and therefore has not felt the distress of this economic stalemate with the same immediacy as you. Maybe you need to release some tension, and screw someone as you, yourself feel are being screwed.