Body-Snarking, Abortion-Hating, Lieberman-Shunning: The All New Old GOP!

Okay kids, it’s time to grab your coffee and a big tub of popcorn and then sit back, relax and watch the GOP tear itself apart.

Conservative talking-head Laura Ingraham, lacking the rhetorical skills or intelligence of Ann Coulter, responded to criticisms that far-right talking assholes like herself aren’t helping attract new voters to the GOP by calling Meghan McCain fat. [Think Progress]

Meghan’s dad, meanwhile, announced his intention to vote against the confirmation of David Hayes to some sort of Deputy Undersecretary of Whogivesashit in the Department of the Interior because Hayes once said mean things about Ronnie Reagan being a good enough actor to pull off his faux-Western image. [The Economist]

While McCain was getting up in arms about old news, Nancy Pelosi was actually talking about the present day, saying that a new stimulus plan isn’t in the offing until we all see what the $787 billion stimulus package passed last month actually does for the country. Economics professors around America smacked their heads and said, “See, this is why we always say fiscal policy doesn’t create short-term economic solutions,” while “economists” continued to bitch that we need a second stimulus. [Washington Post]

Chinese premier Win Jiabao is more than a little concerned about America’s monetary policy and is asking President Obama for assurances that the Chinese $1 trillion investment in U.S. Treasury bonds will maintain its value. For those not versed in financial-speak, the dude to whom we owe $1 trillion wants to know he’s gonna get his fucking money. [NY Times]

Like usual, Obama’s got his hands full. This week, he gets to decide whether to tacitly uphold President Clinton’s Defense of Marriage Act, which denies federal benefits to even legally-married gay couples, and thus defy a California court ruling against it, or whether to somehow uphold the court ruling and piss off the people he supposedly needs to cooperate with to get his budget passed. Fun times. [MSNBC]

In January, the military discharged 11 service members for violating the military ban on being gay. It’s just one more brick in Congresswoman Elle Tauscher’s wall to get the damn thing repealed. [Think Progress]

Former Congresswoman Marilyn Musgrave — best known for sponsoring amendments against abortion and same sex marriage — is starting an organization dedicated to ousting Congress members whose views on abortion rights are “out of sync” with their districts. [Politico]

And, finally, Joe Lieberman is back and flirting with the Democrats these days, now that he’s realizing how much he wants to be re-elected. He totally swears there are Dems trying to convince him to come back to the fold in time to win his next election. Totally. [The Hill]