Boarding School Mean Girls Spur Facebook Ban

“You know it is possible to say no when someone tries to have sex with you. Just throwing that out there.” Sorta true! “Like no is still an option, you whore.” Uh-oh. Time for an elite high school Facebook scandal!

Word is spreading about a Facebook thread out of Connecticut boarding school Choate Rosemary Hall, said to be over 200 pages in length, entitled “Mwaahhahaha.” Two girls have been expelled for their involvement, and four have been suspended. Idiotically, the school has banned Facebook, but not Tumblr, Twitter, or other social media sites.

Here’s the rough order of what you can expect, judging by previous permutations of this genre of scandal:

The Internet is making kids mean. Also, it is distracting them. From being mean face-to-face, presumably.
We need a national conversation on why high school girls are so mean. Suggested headline: Girl on Girl Crime!
Did you know that rich and/or famous people also went to this school?
Rich parents are entitled! Rich people are obnoxious! Aren’t you glad you aren’t rich?

Okay, that’s enough. Anyone got the full “Mwaahhahaha” exchange? Email us.