Birth Control and Mad Max Fashion Are Early Contenders as March Madness Continues
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We’re in day two of this year’s March Madness: Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse, and folks, the competition is flaming hot, as we say in the athletics world!
On Monday, we kicked off Round 1 with a few predictable wins and a few nail-biters. Birth Control (1) won out over Ivanka Trump (16) in a frickin landslide, with Ivanka receiving only 7 percent of the vote. Sorry, girl, you are not loved, ha ha! Wellness (16) beat Capitalism (1) by only 11 points, meanwhile, and Trump Somehow Still President (16) took out Being a Handmaid (1) after significant and agonizing back-and-forth in the comments section. And of course, Mad Max Fashion (16) creamed Immortal Tech Billionaires (1), a rare but very well-deserved setback for our future libertarian overlords.
Today, we’ll finish off the first half of Round 1. Reminder: this year, you’re voting for the thing you think is better (or less terrible, as the case may be). Eins, zwei, drei, let us begin!
First up, from the Pre-Apocalypse Nature Division: Chopped Salads (8) goes head-to-head with Bikini Waxes (9). Do you prefer painful personal grooming rituals, or eating leaves as food?
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Next, we have New York Times Op-Ed Columnists (5) vs. An Ocean With Fish In It (12). There’s no way for me to pretend this is a tough one, sorry, please do the right thing:
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Now we’re looking at Bees (4) versus Skiing (13), in what must be an agonizing choice for all you sporting enthusiasts. Will you save the pollinators at the expense of sliding down a hill on two flat things? Do let me know:
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