Edibles! Tricky business for some, even the most seasoned among us, which does not seem to include Billy Crystal, who almost pulled a Maureen O’Dowd after eating four freakin’ gummies before going in for a MRI.
The story is as follows: Crystal had to go into the doctor for an MRI due to what the New York Post classifies as a “health scare” without clarifying what the scare was. Crystal does not like small spaces, nor does he particularly care for the doctor, so naturally, he visited a dispensary and asked them for something that would help with anxiety. The kind employee directed him towards the “senior section,” and assured him that if he just took two, he’d be straight. However, Crystal wanted to feel more than just “good” or even “fine”—he was aiming for “fabulous,” and so he took four (?) and then proceeded about his day.
So far, so good. Surely Billy Crystal, the star of Forget Paris, was capable of understanding his own tolerance with regards to responsible marijuana consumption, right? No! Of course not!! Boomers rarely are! In a move that feels similar in spirit to that one time my friend and I took bong hits with her mom and then watched as her mom ate three Fudgsicles and tore through a bowl of Shredded Mini Wheats, Mr. Crystal had some cravings that needed to be addressed.
Halfway through the MRI, he asked for Taco Bell and then specifically requested that they maybe Postmate him some “gumbo and Nutella French Toast.” Blessedly, Mr. Crystal fell asleep for the rest of the procedure, then woke up and left the hospital still wearing his gown, with his “ass hanging out.” Eventually he got dressed, then took his ass to Taco Bell. A happy ending for Billy Crystal, and perhaps some valuable lessons in here, too?
Don’t eat twice the suggested amount of weed the weed store person says you should. However, IF you do (who among us, etc), the safe space that you require is not the mechanical whirr of an MRI tube at a hospital, but your couch, your bed, an immersive art experience like that Van Gogh one that I keep seeing ads for, or, if you are very lucky, rich (or a combination of both), a private swimming pool that is empty save for you, a floatie, and a large pitcher of iced tea. [New York Post]
- God, Aaron Sorkin, look how bad you made Paulina Porizkova feel! Also, explain yourself (or don’t, I guess) over this “betrayal” she speaks of? [Page Six]
- Here’s Justin Theroux riding a bike and wearing a Supreme hat. [Just Jared]
- If you don’t see Ryan Reynolds’s new movie, Blake Lively will be “bummed”, per this Instagram post. [Instagram]
- Oh god, leave her alone. [E! News]
- The Hootie and the Blowfishes man Darius Rucker is apparently “shocked” that racism is still a thing in light of the Morgan Wallen saying the n-word a bunch on tape situation. [People]