Bill Nye the Science Guy to Foxtrot on Dancing With the Stars

The cast for the ninth season of Dancing With the Stars has been announced, and Bill Nye the Science Guy™ is one of the competitors, along with some other people you liked when you were younger.

Nye, best known for bow ties and beakers and fondling balloons, is super psyched about the show; he tweeted “It’s time for this nerd to get dancin.'”

Jesse Spano, aka Nomi Malone, aka Elizabeth Berkley is also in the cast, which is weird because we know she can dance, but the producers always seem to include dancers. Her partner is Valentin Chmerkovskiy. I’m so excited! Sex with Special Agent Dale Cooper under a waterfall in a pool!

Valerie Harper, who has been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, will dance with Tristan MacManus. She tells People: “When they asked, I thought, ‘Why would I say no?’ When life asks you to dance, you just have to dance.” Cool! Although it’s kind of weird that she could drop dead at any moment, like, on live TV: “The doctors tell me there’s less evidence of cancer, which is very unusual. However, they both say it’s not a case of if, but when.”

Leah Remini, who recently escaped the creepy clutches of Scientology, will dance with Tony Dovolani. Will an assassin trained by Xenu hit her with a blow dart while she waltzes? Tune in!

Corbin Bleu, aka Chad from High School Musical and not to be confused with Corbin Bernson, is not having the kind of career his old buddy Zac Efron is having, is he. He’ll dance with Karina Smirnoff.

Glee‘s Amber Riley has a voice that gives you goosebumps, who cares if she can mambo? She’ll dance with Derek Hough. Maybe they’ll fall in love?

Other contestants: Jersey Shore‘s Snooki, NFL star Keyshawn Johnson, Jack Osbourne, Christina Milian, Brant Daugherty aka Pretty Little Liars‘ Noel Kahn, and comedian Bill Engvall. My money’s on the Showgirl, but I’ll watch just to see The Science Guy boogie.