Bill Clinton Wears His Mask Like Every Man in a Suburban Grocery Store

Most people have figured out how to live their lives and wear a mask the way you’re supposed to—covering both the nose and the mouth. Some people have not: Men, mostly, at the grocery store, breathing heavily into their tattered surgical masks, which are pulled down and around their noses, and also, unsurprisingly, Bill Clinton.

Bill and Hillary Clinton attended the inauguration, walking in looking like they had just had a real big fight in the car, and then milled about the premises until the thing got underway. As I watched CNN, I noticed one thing about Bill, who looked like he didn’t really want to be there: his mask was in danger of slipping off his face, looking much like he was huffing a pair of panties. This is an undignified look for a former President attending this historic event. Also, if men do not learn how to wear masks the right way, I will be forced to engage in the kind of vigilantism that I abhor, running around the quiet streets of Brooklyn telling everyone who is wearing their mask wrong to fix it. Alas, Bill Clinton does not live in Brooklyn, so I can’t do this in person, but I’m sure he reads Jezebel, so if you’re listening, bud, pull that shit up. Thank you!