There’s a moment in an early season episode of Parks and Recreation where Leslie Knope talks about “taking risks.” It makes her feel “amazing.” She feels “flushed”; she says, “My muscles are relaxed yet I feel awake…I wish there was something physical that could make me feel this way.” We’re all adults here, we get the implied punchline. But I’ve thought about that line on and off for years—not about how pathetic it is (sorry, Leslie) but how, actually, yes, there are a host of nonsexual things that can, if you’re lucky, imitate some of the best feelings we as humans experience behind closed doors.
In honor of Horny Week, we set out to document that phenomenon (or at least take a survey of our staff). Just like actual sexual attraction, the nonsexual things that give us those happy, horny, hungry-yet-satisfied feelings run the gamut, though there do seem to be a few trends: objects or spaces that imply luxury; books; and cleanliness and organizing. We’re not afraid to admit it: These things make us horny. As the kids say, please drop your own nonsexual horny thoughts in the comments below.
Read the rest of Jezebel’s Horny Week 2023 stories here.