Beyoncé Cries Foul On Her Screeching

• Beyoncé on her fake “screeching” recording:

“I haven’t heard it but it sounds completely ridiculous.” Her dad/manager Matthew Knowles adds: “At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered.” Okay okay we get it. [MTV]

• Lindsay Lohan is in Australia’s Cleo magazine. She’s asked: “As you’re constantly in the public eye, how hard is it for you to forge successful, long lasting relationships?” She answers: “I don’t think it’s so hard. What I’ve learnt most is to keep my private life private.” O RLY? Also, when asked about her “perfect evening,” she says: “Staying in and watching a movie!” [ONTD]
• Lindsay talked to Ellen about her split with Sam: “When you don’t know you’re breaking up… Really weird.” LL says the break came out of nowhere. “I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn’t seen her in, like, a week. She, like, disappeared.” Also, is this underminey? “I think it’s been really good for me. I thought it would be so much harder and it hasn’t been. My sister’s been here with me.” [People]
• “Lindsay Lohan is shockingly skinny again.” [NY Daily News]
• Kate Moss maybe cheated on Jamie Hince with Eve Berlin from The Living Things. In Berlin. The rocker’s brother says he walked in on Kate and Eve (born Yves) with his clothes off. [The Sun]
• Josh Hartnett‘s 911 call is on TMZ for some reason, and you can hear Josh say the words “food poisoning” and “diarrhea.” [TMZ]
• What the goop: Gwyneth Paltrow gave Mario Batali free membership to that superduper exclusive gym she and Tracy Anderson opened. An insider says: “Mario is the only fat friend she has, and she wants him to change.” [Page Six]
• This was in Midweek Madness yesterday but here it is again: Nadya Suleman‘s stripper name was Angelina. [MSNBC]
• Oh Christ: Miss California will appear at the Gospel Music Awards. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Dolly Parton had lunch in Manhattan and a blogger witness it. Dolly had an “expertly made-up ageless face, Barbie doll suit (paired with sheer black leggings), that famous platinum mane, and shoes that no other human being could possibly walk in.” [mediabistro.com]
• Cyndi Lauper wants Susan Boyle to be in a film starring Cyndi and Tippi Hedren. “I think she’s a kick. I really like her,” sez Lauper. The movie is about “baby boomers who put their lives on hold to chase their dreams.” [Reuters]
• By the way, when Susan Boyle said she’d never been kissed, that was a joke, people/ She says: “Never been kissed? I’ve never stopped.” [Music Toob]
• Audrina is going to Spencer and Heidi‘s wedding this weekend. “They’re two peas in a pod … I can’t see either of them with anyone else.” Is that a compliment? [People]
• Uh-oh! Jennie Garth found out that her husband Peter Facinelli cooked a pasta dinner for the cast of the Twilight sequel New Moon and she is not happy: “I am pissed off, because he doesn’t make me pasta dinners. I don’t know when was the last time the man cooked for me!” [E!]
• Rihanna and Katy Perry are boating & beaching together in Barbados. It looks so fun. I want to go to there! [NY Post]
• Speaking of New Moon, you guys can have that lame ass sparkly vampire, I’ll take the shirtless hot hotties of the wolf pack. Have you seen this new picture? Soooo down with brown. And only one of them is technically underage! What’s that? Their abs are Photoshopped? Lalalala I can’t hear you. [People]
• NBC is considering running fewer episodes of Heroes next year, which will supposedly interrupt the storyline less. And you know, cut costs. [AdAge]
• Someone stole thousands of dollars of jewelry from Hayden Panettiere‘s L.A. home last week. [TMZ]
• Kanye West was “polite and gracious” when he showed up — by himself — at the Tribeca Film Festival’s kickoff dinner. DON’T GET ALL NORMAL ON US, YEEZY!!!!!!1!!! [Gatecrasher]
• When filming ends on the last Harry Potter movie, Emma Watson says: “I will be . . . uncontrollable. It’s been half of our lives. It’s made us, it’s formed us. It’s such a big part of my life, so it will be really sad –and so much of the crew who have been there since the beginning are like my family.” [Telegraph]
• Gillian Anderson may appear on Doctor Who. [Daily Express]
• Bruce Springsteen‘s wife wasn’t at his concert on Tuesday night OMGAFFAIROMG. [Star]
• Alan Cumming supports New York Governor David Paterson’s gay-marriage bill. “He’s not doing it for political reasons. Like, when did gay marriage become something that could make you popular, for fuck’s sake? That’s just, like, being a little nippy, people being bitches.” As for Rudy Giuliani? Cumming says: “I think he’s an asshole. Please quote me on that.” [NY Mag]
• Um, Elizabeth Banks will star and produce a comedy called Forever 21. Is it about disposable bar-crawling clothes? [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Since Matthew McConaughey is in a flick called Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past, he is forced to answer questions about past girlfriends. [E!]
• This just in: “Natalie Portman and Chief Executive Officer Christine Aylward launched MakingOf.com, a behind-the-scenes Web portal that provides an intimate, fresh look into the process of creating entertainment by the insiders themselves.” [PR Newswire]
• Hot hottie Channing Tatum, of the critically acclaimed film Step Up, says of his new flick, Fighting: “I’m not a tough guy. I’m probably not even a good fighter.” It’s called ACTING, people, jeez. [USA Today]
• Anna Nicole Smith cannot rest in peace because there’s always some kind of dramz in her family; this time it’s her half-sister suing the publisher of her book Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith, because she claims she hasn’t been paid. [TMZ]
• Want to see a foxy picture of Christian Bale, from Empire magazine? Click click click! [ONTD]
• Prison Break‘s Lane Garrison has reached a financial settlement with the parents of the 17-year-old he killed in a drunk driving accident back in 2006. [TMZ]
• Mary-Louise Parker is not leaving Weeds. Had you heard that she was? [E!]
• Cameron Diaz is in talks to star in a “legal comedy” called Bobbie Sue, about a “hard-charging female ambulance chaser whose mindset makes her the ideal candidate to be the face of a prestigious law firm when a powerful client is sued in a sexual discrimination case.” [Variety]
• Paul Giamatti will star in an indie drama called Barney’s Version, in which he plays a man who has “led a reckless life highlighted by three marriages, two children and being a ‘person of interest’ in the mysterious disappearance of his bosom buddy. [Variety]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jewel is trying for a baby. [Gatecrasher]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jennifer Hudson is indeed pregnant. [NY Daily News, Page Six]
• Divorce lawyers are telling Oksana Pochepa (the chick who claims she’s having a fling with Mel Gibson) to shut her trap. [The Sun]
• John Travolta is in Argentina shopping for land, what are you doing? [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Oh wait: This report says John Travolta is alone in Tahiti. [People]
• After five years and 241 shows at Caesars Palace, Elton John played his last show last night. Will he come back? [AP]
• Why is there a picture of Mariah Carey’s husband and Spongebob Squarepants at the top of the Empire State Building? Is this real life? Is it going to be like this forever? [Gatecrasher]
• Here is old footage of Tony Danza being a whiny baby because he has to be on a local news program. [Videogum]
• Fred Durst is engaged and is the happiest man alive, should you care. [People]
• When Lou Reed is on tour, he would like to eat organic lamb, guava melon, or “LOCAL ORGANIC White Fish.” [The Smoking Gun]
• Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, with Regis Philbin, will be revived this summer on ABC. [AP]
• Rob Lowe will be in TV movie on Lifetime, set your DVR. [UPI]
• Blind item: “Which hunky A-lister checks himself into swanky hotels under the alias ‘King Kong’?” [Gatecrasher]
• “I was so incensed, so passionate about having a Democrat in the White House, I was insane. I was just crazed. I trust this administration. I trust Barack Obama and his intelligence and have faith that he’ll do the right thing. So I’ve been able to relax the last few months.” — Barbra Streisand. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• “This issue is important to me. I didn’t know too much about it before becoming a parent but whooping cough is on the rise. There have been a significant increase in reported cases over the past decade. Parents don’t realize that they can get pertussis and transmit the disease to their babies.” — Jennifer Lopez, the spokesperson for Sounds Of Pertussis. [UPI]
• “I had kind of a binge eating disorder where instead of dealing with my emotions, I would stuff them down with food. I actually went into a treatment center for it. It was definitely that excess eating to kind of just stuff all the emotions down … I really was a creative kid who didn’t know she was creative and didn’t have those outlets because I was always afraid to join the theater group and not perform. The moment I started doing music, the moment I did what I loved to do in my life and committed to it, I don’t have those problems anymore … I have my outlet. I have that form of expression. I can go to the studio and talk about my feelings.” — American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. [People]
• “The most dynamic and sophisticated comedy to hit television in the last 10 years, if you like, and here it is, they’re calling me. It’s a great, great feeling. And as quickly as it came, I was on the set. It really felt like an out-of-body experience. ‘I watch this show; what am I doing here? What is Steve Carell doing, improvising and trying to make me laugh?’ They all do that. John [Krasinski] especially. He said to me the other day, ‘My character hates your character so much, it makes me want to hate you in real life. Is that OK?’ They’re great guys, I love working on that show.” — Idris Elba on his stint on The Office. [LA Times]
• “I wouldn’t want to change myself too much because that would really make things a bit false. I want to receive people as the real me, a real person.” — Susan Boyle. [NY Daily News]
• “You just leave them with enough food and water to survive. No, first of all, you have an amazing wife, and she gets it and handles all the craziness. And you just try to make the time you got really cool. When you’re there, you’re totally present, and you just bounce back and forth. At least I’m not in the military with people shooting at me. I have friends who are in Iraq. At least when we’re gone, I’m in a hotel room. Maybe, I may lose my life to this really bad room service. That’s the threat.”— Taylor Hanson on how he handles going on tour and leaving four kids at home. [People]
• “It’s none of my business, but you know what I say about that? I understand the situation. I understand passion with young kids. My personal opinion about that is, he’s just a baby. He’s just a little baby that don’t know how to handle his emotions when it comes to a woman. And he probably hears this and thinks, ‘I know how to handle my emotions’; we all think we do. But the fact [is], you look at this person and you might be crazy in love, but we don’t know how to handle those feelings.” — Mike Tyson on Chris Brown. [MTV]
• “I just put his foot in my mouth. There was no sucking. It was a spontaneous moment, too — it wasn’t in the script. I just went for it. I still don’t even know how Zac felt about me cramming his foot into my mouth. It’s not like we’re e-mail buddies.” — Saturday Night Live‘s Jason Sudeikis, on his skit with Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]