Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Ben Affleck Tweets, Doesn't Actually Refute Speculation That He Was Hammered on Bill Simmons's Show

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Ben Affleck has taken to Twitter to address his, let’s say, intense behavior on last night’s premiere of Any Given Wednesday, Bill Simmons’s new HBO show.

Affleck talked very loudly for nearly five straight minutes about deflategate AND Bahston and Tom Brady and football and steroids and the fact that Will doesn’t even call from California anymore. Today, the world noted that Ben may have been a bit lit during that interview because it totally seemed like he was and he has a well-documented substance abuse problem.

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Now, Batman offers his explanation:

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Right. Ok. Sure, man.

In fact, I was not keeping score about fucks given because I wasn’t aware that data was quantifiable with numbers. (You gotta speak in units of Rihanna if you want me to truly understand a lack of fucks being given.)

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Please note that Ben Affleck did not say, “Hey guys, I know I was very passionate talking about the football team that plays thirty miles outside my city, but I did not, in fact, knock back a healthy amount of whatever whiskey was in the building before I appeared on national television.”

He didn’t say that.