Beach Report: Bikinis Are Out, Maillots Are in, Wear Whatever the Hell You Feel Best in

According to the fashion forward folks at the New York Post, bikinis are out and one piece swimsuits are in. This is because… well, Kim Kardashian wore one once? And, as we all know, she’s an arbiter of good taste. OK, that’s unfair on both accounts, Ki-Ka can certainly rock a LBD, and maillots do appear to be a trend on the rise. In fact, designer Quentin Smith says that “maillot mania” is most likely due to “the 1950s pin-up resurgence we’re seeing in many areas of women’s fashion.”

I can get behind that, there are some 50s swimsuits that are sizzling hot. My entire bathing suit repetoire is made up of ModCloth fatty-friendly styles. This green one with my red hair? HIDE YOUR MAN AND YOUR LIBIDO BECAUSE MAMA LOOKS GOOD.

“We are definitely seeing a resurgence of one-pieces,” says Cindy Hahn, the owner of New York-based clothing and swimwear boutique Azaleas. “We’ve ordered about 20 percent more in one-pieces versus last year. The one-piece has been updated so that it’s neither a boring mommy suit nor a scandalous monokini.”

Sounds good! I’m all for whatever makes you feel fancy and fresh — be it bikini, maillot, tankini, monokini, trikini, quadkini, bike shorts, or full ballgown. Whatever makes you like the way you work it, you should bag it up (at a store) (and then wear it at the beach or pool or backyard or wherever.)

Now, let’s dream about the end of winter. What are you going to wear your mankini first? As soon as it hits 60 degrees, I’m gonna be rocking one on my dog walks.