I am just gonna say it: The onscreen/offscreen badassness of Mariska Hargitay/Det. Olivia Benson rivals that of Connie Britton/Tami Taylor. Come at me, bro.
Mariska was overheard explaining to dinner companions the concept of her upcoming documentary, which has a producer but is searching for a director:
“There are hundreds of thousands of untested rape kits in police and crime- lab storage facilities. Every year, thousands of individuals take the courageous step of reporting their rape to the police . . . The evidence is then collected in a ‘Sexual Assault Evidence Collection Kit’ — a rape kit . . . And yet, hundreds of thousands of times, a decision is made not to process the evidence. Too difficult to prosecute, too murky, too expensive — not a priority.”
“When you don’t test a rape kit, it sends the message that’s it’s not a serious crime, and I’m beyond outraged.”
ICYMI, there are LOTS of A+ SVUs about this, but that one with Jennifer Love Hewitt was especially heinous. [Page Six]
During a London stand-up show, Russell Brand made a joke about how boring having sex with Katy Perry was. “When you’re a monk, you’re not allowed to have sex with anyone. When you’re married, it’s one person. That’s one more than a monk. It’s not that different. I’d be having sex thinking, ‘think of anyone, anyone else.'”
This and that text message revelation in Vogue! You were in that hideous Arthur remake, Brand. We have not forgotten. [NYDN]
Kim Kardashian is planning to launch a kid’s clothing line with North West as the tiny little face, according to celebrity stylist and Kardashifrend Lloyd Klein. Recall, if you will, that Kim and Kanye sent special tiny hoodies and skinny jeans to Prince Babygeorge; also, Kim told Jimmy Kimmel that North would be wearing “custom-made chains and leather pants.”
Make a baby bib that says “Cry so hard motherfuckers want to feed me” and we’ll talk. [NYDN, Yahoo!]
A dude on cruches tried to break into Kid “We Were Trying Different Things, We Were Smoking Funny Things” Rock’s house and then Kid Rock wrote a post about how serious he takes his privacy (very serious)/how much he wants to shoot someone.
In a post titled, “Don’t mess with a m——-f——r like me,” Rock posted stills from the surveillance footage that showed the man, and described him as a “white male” with a “receding hairline,” mustache, and side burns.
“Thank God I was not on the property at the time of this attempted break in,” Rock wrote. “I am an avid hunter and marksman and I will not hesitate to shoot anyone who has myself or family in fear for our lives. “
“I take the invasion of my personal space very serious regardless of who you are,” he continued. “YES, I do profile people. I am currently profiling any balding white male on crutches driving a white creeper van.”
‘Cause he wants to be a COWBOY, BAAAAYBYY / WITH THE BLAH BLEH BLAH AND THE SUNSHINE SHININ’. [NYDN]
- You might like Lady Gaga less soon, but I guess that’s all relative. [TMZ]
- Elle MacPherson married her rich boyf Jeffrey Soffer in Fiji. [NYDN]
- Kelly Rowland was really scared when she was lost at sea. [People]
- Ashlee Simpson’s son Bronx Mowgli (fuuu) “loves being a cousin” to Jessica Simpson’s kids. [People]
- Lauren Silverman, the married woman pregnant with Simon Cowell’s kid, had an affair with an English teacher when she was 16. [NYDN]
- Simon reportedly dumped her six weeks before he knew she was pregnant. I still have not digested the fact that he has fornicated with human women. [Daily Mail]
- Alec Baldwin’s wife Shelarious Baldwin looks pregnant because she is pregnant. [HuffPo]
- Laverne Cox is the shit. [NYDN]
- Justin Bieber and his posse got into a brawl outside a club on the mean streets of Southampton. ““He (Bieber) ripped his shirt off and went nuts. He was screaming.” [NYDN]
- Prince Jackson and his Kuwaiti princess girlfriend Remi Alfala got Smashburgers like a couple of Muggles. [Page Six]
- Prince ate “watermelon salad and bowls of corn soup” in Greenwich Village. SexxxxXX. [Page Six]
- Teresa Giudice seems to think her husband Joe will take the fall for their potential 30-year jail sentence for fraud, haaaa. [Radar Online]
- Kevin Zegers got married. [Gossip Cop]
- Miley “What’s Eating Ratchet Grape” Cyrus appears in the music video for “Fire” by Big Sean. [Us Weekly]
- Isla Fisher’s skirt blew up and everyone was like ad8fhakgdkuadg. [Us Weekly]
- Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem’s new baby daughter is named Luna Encinas Bardem. [Us Weekly]
- Lenny Kravitz and the girl who plays Lavender in the Matilda musical will perform at the US Open. And then start a KoRn cover band. [Page Six]
- Here is makeupless Jennifer Aniston in a selfie with her hair stylist. [Us Weekly]
- Go buy Ellen and Portia’s horse ranch! And then help me get insurance. [Radar Online]
Image via AP
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