Baffling New GOP Ads: Bitches Be Texting

The College Republican National Committee, the GOP’s youth division, is so, so good at communicating with female voters. Earlier this month, they were roundly mocked for an ad that compared Florida Democratic gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist to buying a too-expensive wedding dress. (Ladies! We only understand metaphors that are wedding- or chocolate-related!) And now they’ve returned triumphantly with a series of identical ads where Kardashian-sounding young women have imaginary text convos with unresponsive Democratic politicians from different states. The politicians always just text back “K!” The horror.

Having clearly learned from the wedding dress ad debacle, CRNC released a series of nine texting ads, targeted narrowly to the ladies of each state. Here’s the one for Wisconsin:

“I’m so tired of Mary Burke,” one pair of manicured white hands grouses to the other. “I told her I was upset she supported tuition increases and all she texted back was, ‘K’.”

“That’s ridiculous,” the second pair of white lady hands empathizes, wafting an unfortunate coral manicure towards the camera.

“I’m over Mary Burke,” Hands One confides, as you do with your best gal-pals over a steamy PSL come election time.

“You should vote for Scott Walker, he doesn’t play games with Wisconsin students,” Coral Nightmare suggests.

No matter that Politifact found the assertion that Burke had supported tuition increases to be totally false, and certainly don’t worry about Scott Walker’s longstanding and abiding contempt for women and the poor. A lot of the other ads have factual reaches: Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidate Tom Wolf is accused of supporting a “massive sales tax” increase, another claim Politifact found dubious. Maryland candidate Anthony Brown is accused of pushing a tax increase there, which, again, Brown didn’t have much to do with; the governor at the time, Martin O’Malley, did.

But hey, foamy coffee drinks? Free market-supporting, nanny-state hating girl talk? The CRNC continues to speak our language, in a totally non-pandering, non-condescending way. The woman vote: nailed it.