Awesome Texas Abortion Testimony Poetry: ‘If My Vagina Was a Gun’

Hundreds of women and men have testified at the Texas Capitol both for and against SB 1, which would restrict most abortions after 20 weeks and close all but five abortion clinics in the state. But only one woman performed an epic poem, entitled “If My Vagina Was a Gun.”

(Important note: not to be confused with the woman who hid a gun in her vagina.)

Here’s the transcript of the work of art, performed by Katie Helm:

If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights,

You would ride on buses and fight all the fights.

If my vagina was a gun, you would treat it with care,

You wouldn’t spill all its secrets because, well, why go there.

If my vagina was a gun, you’d say what it holds is private

From cold dead hands we could pry, you surely would riot.

If my vagina was a gun, its rights would all be protected,

no matter the body count or the children affected.

If my vagina was a gun, I could bypass security,

concealed carry laws would ensure I’d have impunity.

If my vagina was a gun, I wouldn’t have to beg you,

I could hunt this great land and do all the things men do.

But my vagina is not a gun, it is a mightier thing,

With a voice that rings true making lawmakers’ ears ring.

Vaginas are not delicate, they are muscular and magic,

So stop messing with mine, with legislation that’s tragic.

My vagina’s here to demand from the source,

Listen to the voices of thousands or feel their full force.

“Vaginas are not delicate, they are muscular and magic/So stop messing with mine, with legislation that’s tragic” is my favorite part. Also: does anyone else suspect she was inspired by Shel Silverstein’s “If The World Was Crazy?” Just replace “marshmallow earmuffs” with, uh, “stop attacking my reproductive rights.” In my perfect universe, they would teach this in elementary schools, too.