At Last, Some Good News: Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli Lost Money on Their House
CelebritiesDirt Bag

Little known fact: Natalie Imbruglia wrote her 1997 debut single “Torn”* about the complex tension that I, me, specifically, am feeling right now between my desire to abolish all prisons and the delight I’m taking in Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli facing some consequences for their role in trying to maintain America’s violent class system, which has benefited them immensely to the detriment of hundreds of millions of others.
But this being Dirt Bag and not therapy, who cares! The former Full House star and her fashion designer husband sold their Bel Air mansion in preparation for their sentencing date next month, Us Weekly reports, and it would appeeeeeear that they lost a ton of money in the sale. To which I say: baha.
They bought the house for $14 million and put in a lot of work renovating it to their liking. They were not so long ago asking for $28.7 million, Us says, but the couple ended up settling for only (“only”) $18 million from Tinder co-founder Justin Mateen. My background in the housing market is as deficient as my background in economics, but a broker who was trying to show the apartment I moved out of last month told me during one of his visits that no one’s buying right now—what with the pandemic-induced depression and all—so yeah. This squares, perhaps.
* I know that Natalie Imbruglia didn’t write “Torn,” it’s just a half-baked bit I’m committing to in order to finish this blog and get paid. I’m just a writer in New York with no healthcare, bay bee—Carrie Bradshaw is shaking!!!!
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