At Last, Britney Spears Speaks

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Image: Valerie Macon/ AFP (Getty Images)

The Britney Spears documentary that aired on Hulu gave credence to the Free Britney movement and also, probably, was hard to watch for Britney Spears. However, the general public was only able to speculate on the latter because Britney herself remained silent about the documentary until now.


Sidebar, as this is not relevant to the topic at hand, but the only thing I love as much as Britney Spears loves a low-rise silhouette is my cat, Daisy.

If you find yourself distracted by the choreography, which is making me feel nostalgic and also quite old, or the low-rise boxer short situation, which is making me envious of her toned core, that’s fine. That is, I think, part of the point of this post, but the rest of the point is contained in the caption. Britney addresses the Hulu documentary about her life, writing “I didn’t watch the documentary but from what I did see of it I was embarrassed by the light they put me in ... I cried for two weeks and well .... I still cry sometimes !!!!”

Personally, I am not buying what the Free Britney movement is selling wholesale, but I don’t know how well Britney is doing, period. What I do know is that how she’s doing is none of my goddamn business. Perhaps that’s why this comment is fucking annoying:

I don’t know if she does or doesn’t run her socials. Also, having watched the documentary myself, I think the feelings expressed by this caption are likely valid. However, if the person posting and writing these posts is indeed Britney, I can’t imagine it’s very validating or healthy to have legions of faceless “fans” running up in the comments, howling and rending their garments over conspiracy theories that are only sort of rooted in reality.

Setting that aside, though, Britney looks great if not the teensiest bit sad, just like the rest of us. [Page Six]


I’m not sure what to make of Chrissy Teigen’s “mid-life crisis” as expressed through her growing wig collection, so I guess we can look at this grey wig, together as a class, to process our thoughts.


According to Us Weekly, Teigen’s wig collection is, again, the manifestation of her mid-life crisis, which is also probably what caused her to log off Twitter for good. If it is necessary to have a crisis of this nature, and to experience it in public, then I guess a wig collection is better than any of the alternatives. [Us Weekly]


  • Some news about Crisp Rat. [Just Jared]
  • Please look at this photo of Blue Ivy, who is practically an adult. [Hollywood Life]
  • Travis Barker is a good sport. [People]



The Free Britney movement is a conspiracy theory, full stop. There’s probably something very wrong with her conservatorship. The media was awful to her during her peak years of fame and she deserves an apology, particularly when it comes to the coverage of her mental health. It contains a kernel of truth. But the way the Free Britney movement pores over her socials for bread crumbs the way moon landing conspiracy theorists pause and study The Shining frame-by-frame for evidence that he directed the moon landing and told us through subtle clues is pure conspiracy theory crackpottery. (And, of course, when her social media posts contradict their theory instead of giving them more fodder, she doesn’t control her social media posts. But her use of an emoticon instead of an emoji that one time, that was an SOS from Britney herself.)