
An elderly British golf commentator is pretty sure that golf â the game of choice for world leaders wishing to bore their political foes to death â is being ruined by women and their peevish insistence on the âequality thing.â Peter Alliss told a magazine that admitting women to golf clubs has âcaused mayhemâ and âbuggered up the game for a lot of people.â
There are around 3,000 golf clubs in the United Kingdom, and in the past couple years many of the single-sex ones have slowly begun admitting women, including the Royal and Ancient Golf Club in St. Andrews, Scotland, seen as the spiritual home of the single dullest sport ever conceived by creaky masochists moving at an agonizingly glacial pace as everyone watching at home prays for the sweet release of death. But in an interview with Radio Times, Alliss, 84, whoâs been golf-nouncing since 1961 and is considered âthe voice of British golf,â claimed that women golfers hate being allowed to play golf. From Radio Times:
The golf commentator, who will be covering the US Masters on the BBC this year, says that legislation to phase out restrictions for women on the use of club facilities have caused a drop in interest for female members.
âIâm told the Ladies Golf Union has lost 150,000 members since equality for women came in,â Alliss told Radio Times. âHundreds of women have left golf clubs because theyâve gone from paying half fare to full fare. Itâs caused mayhem.
âAll of the wives of members at these clubs could have used the facilities for free. When I was at Muirfield a couple of years ago talking to a few of the lady members, I said, âWhat about this equality? You must be happy about that?â âGod no,â they said. âWe can come here and do what we like, we can play golf and donât pay anything.â
There are only two kinds of women who play golf, you see: the ones who do it because their husbands play golf, and the ones who donât play golf anymore because they have died. Alliss added, âThe equality thing is a great part of golf. Equality for women: a few people battled away to get it, they got it, and they have buggered up the game for a lot of people.â
The Ladies Golf Union politely told the Telegraph that Alliss is full of shit, phrasing it in the most British and diplomatic way possible. Finance director Sam Burton admitted theyâd lost members, but said she doubted that âequalityâ was the culprit: âWe had 189,000 members in 2010 and weâve gone down to 159,000 in 2014. Weâve lost 30,000 members which isnât good. I know where heâs coming from but personally I donât think thatâs the reason.â She added, âI think heâs speaking for a very small minority, probably the older lady golfer. The clubs heâs referring to where the wife just got to play because her husband was a member â I donât know any such clubs. People who are serious about their golf wouldnât really see that as acceptable.â
Itâs possible that Alliss is speaking for the silent, frustrated majority of golf-loving British women whoâd like to play less golf in fewer places. Or else heâs been driven slowly mad by the crushing, almost punitive tedium of the game heâs spent a half-century watching.
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Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
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