The New England Aquarium has eight pairs of endangered African penguins, and they want them to make more babies. Hence, they are installing a series of “honeymoon suites,” i.e. fuck rooms, to encourage the little guys and gals.

According to the Associated Press, the aquarium will scatter “cozy plastic igloo-style homes and other private nooks off the main exhibit.” Because not everybody’s an exhibitionist, OK? Not everybody can just go to town right in front of a bunch of bored teens on a class trip. It’s a lot of pressure, trying to procreate under those kinds of conditions. Is it too much to ask for a little fuckin’ romance, maybe a coin-operated vibrating penguin-size mattress over here in these cozy private igloos? Jesus.

Photo via AP. (Different group of penguins, same species, no word whether they like to fuck in public.)

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