April Vogue Loves Your Body, Especially If It's Wrapped In Balenciaga

We already deconstructed the Vogue“Shape Issue”‘s profile of “comfortably curvy” Beyoncé and her uncomfortably birdlike eating habits, but sucking comes in many shapes this April.

Take half-sisters Lou Doillon and Charlotte Gainsbourg, who sport the criminally underrepresented body type known as “thin.” They even speculate as to how they got this way — “family rumor is that there was so much tuberculosis from generation to generation that maybe there’s something in our blood.” So that‘s the secret. Then there’s Victoria’s Secret model and unconventional beauty Doutzen Kroes, whose body type is listed as “athletic” because her thighs are just a smidge too muscular for her to get a lot of editorial work. The stigma! Seriously, all of these are gorgeous women, but their stories just demonstrate the fact that even when Vogue sets aside just one issue a year for “Size 0 to Size 20,” they still really mean a couple size 4s and a weirdly posed Adele.