In a new issue of Atlanta Magazine, Anthony Bourdain—always the most delightfully catty chef in the kitchen—shifted a conversation on fatherhood into a backhanded discussion about what can be done to help Food Network chef (and human embodiment of a Mountain Dew campaign) Guy Fieri overcome his overwhelming Guy Fieri-ness.
On Guy Fieri and becoming a dad
The minute that you become a father, certain truths become immediately obvious to you. The first second you see your daughter’s head corkscrew out of the womb and open her eyes, they are pretty much saying “Lose the Ramones shirt.” . . . So I’ve made some adjustments in my life. So I sort of feel in a heartfelt way for Guy [Fieri]. I wonder about him. He’s 52 years-old and still rolling around in the flame outfit . . . What does he do? How does Guy Fieri de-douche?
What genuine and touching concern!
Speaking of the Food Network, he also has some thoughts on Ina Garten:
On Ina Garten
I love Ina Garten. She’s one of the few people on Food Network who can actually cook. When Ina Garden roasts a chicken, she roasts it correct. When Ina Garten makes mashed potatoes, those are some solid mashed potatoes. In many ways I want Ina’s life. I don’t want to live in her house. I don’t want to spend a weekend there. It gets weird in Ina Land . . . Oh, when Jeffrey gets home, he’ll be so happy I made meatloaf. And then he comes home and you’re pretty sure he’s not into meatloaf.
We all get what Anthony’s implying there, but I refuse to be the one to put it in writing.
Michael Douglas is supposed to be out promoting Ant-Man, but instead he’s promoting his big ol’ dong-er.
“Your father had his cleft chin, Omar Sharif had the gap in his teeth,” said Vanity Fair’s George Wayne in a conversation with Douglas. So what’s Mikey’s thing?
“I have a big dick.”
Oh, uhhh, okay. Google Image is being no help at all right now, so I guess we’ll take his word for it? [Page Six]
Talking with Nylon, Zoë Kravitz revealed that she was denied an audition for The Dark Knight Rises because she was deemed too “urban.”
“In the last Batman movie, they told me that I couldn’t get an audition for a small role they were casting because they weren’t ‘going urban,” she told the mag. “It was like, ‘What does that have to do with anything?’ I have to play the role like, ‘Yo, what’s up, Batman? What’s going on wit chu?’”
“I don’t want to play everyone’s best friend. I don’t want to play the role of a girl struggling in the ghetto. It’s not that that story isn’t important, but I saw patterns and was like, ‘I don’t relate to these people.’”
- Sienna Miller and fiancé Tom Sturridge have broken up after four years together. [POPSUGAR]
- Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are wearing their wedding rings for the kids! [People]
- Speaking of kids, George and Amal Clooney are maybe trying to have one! [Dlisted]
- Definitely having one: Louis Tomlinson and Briana Jungwirth—at least according to Jungwirth’s former step father (always a reliable source). [Buzzfeed]
- Drake and Hannibal Buress played softball together. [Billboard]
- Jesse Eisenberg doesn’t actually think that ComicCon is like genocide, but is still being a real sass machine about it. [Page Six]
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